Mishap     |   home
Strange Mutant in a stranger land Chapters 1-3   |   Chapters 4-6   |   Chapters 7-8
Strange Mutant in a stranger land Chapters 1-3
1-3 /???
Title: Strange Mutant in a Stranger Land
Author: mishap
Rating: NC-17 eventually
Feedback: mishap00@mchsi.com
Fandom: Xena/Herc Xmen crossover
Disclaimer: Any rights I am entitled to I freely give back to the copyrighted owners. I own nothing and make no claims.
Pairing: Ares/Joxer, Logan/Remy
Status: WIP
Archive: AJCS, and others ask and you shall receive.
Warning: If you are not 18 and don't like m/m relationships don't read this.
Notes: First Xmen.
Summary: Logan and Remy take a strange trip

Chapter One

     It was supposed to be a routine pickup Charles Xavier the founder and backbone of the X-Men, a group of so called mutant `terrorists', had picked up a powerful emerging mutant signature in rural Canada sending out telepathic distress signals. Since it was in an area familiar to Wolverine, he was sent along with the empathic Cajun, Gambit to assess the situation and bring the child in if it was needed.

     They landed the mini-jet outside of the small Canadian backwoods town. Expecting an uproar from the briefing that Xavier had given them on the emerging mutant and the distress that being broadcast loud enough for Cerebro to pick up on. The town was eerily quiet.

     “Logan, de kid is in 'dis direction.” Remy gestured towards a grassy area in the town square.

     “Somethin' ain't right here gumbo.” Logan half growled to his companion as he scanned the area. “It's too quiet, I can't hear anybody moving around. I can't smell blood or anything out of the ordinary. It's only ten o'clock somebody should be at least moving around.”

     “Let's get de kid an' t'en we can check it out. De kid is scared, I can feel his fear, he don' have no idea what's happenin'.” Remy suggested. “He's real close.”

Using Remy's empathy and Logan's heightened senses they tracked the young mutant to a tool shed in the small park. Opening the door cautiously a soft glow illuminated the tool shed emanating from a small form lying curled on the floor.

Remy moved to check on the oddly still figure as he knelt beside the child and reached out to check his pulse, Logan's instincts kicked into overdrive.

 Logan grabbed the Cajun's arm to pull him away as Gambit's hand touched the child's throat. `Remy don't-“ the rest of his words remained unspoken as Remy's touch triggered a response.

As they are thrown away by a telekinetic shockwave the softly glowing light explodes into a white-hot glare. An observer would have seen the pair of mutants two men becoming four. One pair is drawn away in a rotating vortex that opens a hole in the fabric of space and time and draws them in. The second pair left unconscious next to the young mutant they had come to help.

The two tumble through a passage formed of a gray nothingness. The passage opens again spilling them out sprawling in a heap.

     Logan was instantly on feet the Cajun followed a heart beat later. Using his heightened senses he scanned area. Other than a man fighting and thrashing his way out of a blanket the place appeared deserted. Relaxing slightly the claws that he had reflexively extended during their inadvertent journey slid away with a quiet snikt. Studying his surroundings the warmth and much different scents he judged they were no longer in Canada. Gesturing toward the man still trying to stand he spoke to Gambit, “you better untangle him before he rolls in the fire. I'm gonna take a quick look around.”

     Logan ran a quick survey of the area his instincts were telling him that something wasn't right and things just got stranger and stranger. A quick glance at the verified the stars appeared familiar but their placement was skewed.

     Heading back to the clearing we'd arrived in he met Remy a few yards from the campsite. “Gumbo, what the hell are ya doin'? I thought you had enough sense to keep an eye on that guy,” he growled disgustedly.

     He answered, “Mon ami, de only way 'dat Joxer would hurts us is by falling' on us. He's as crazy as a bed bug, but harmless.

     “What do you mean `crazy'?” he questioned; he had a bad feelin' about this.

     Gambit was grinning as he answered, “he thinks we're in ancient Greece. He says he knows Hercules and he's seen gods and monsters. Remy thinks that qualifies as crazy Cher; He even carries a bent sword an' he t'ink `dat Remy's eyes are a curse of de `gods'.” Remy was almost giggling as he finished his list of reasons.

     Without another word he stalked back to where the nutcase was tending to the fire. He was dressed in the worst collection of tin he'd ever seen and was wearing a colander on his head. `Yep Remy was right the guy was crazy, but he was all they had for information on wherever it was that the gateway had dumped us out.' He thought to himself.  He crouched down beside him, “Uh…Joxer, Remy told me that you're a friend of Hercules.”

     “I know him,” he said shyly. “I don't know if he is a friend exactly, but he's always nice to me.”

     “Do you plan on seeing him soon?” He questioned figuring if he was that deluded that he'd better play along.

     “Not really last I heard Iolaus and he were headed to Corinth to visit his brother Iphicles. I was headed to the next village to visit a friend, it's about a half a day's walk from here,” he answered.

     Well that answered one question, Logan thought “So Joxer you mind if we tag along with you tomorrow we're kinda lost.”

     “No, I don't mind. It'd be nice to have some company for a change. But we'd better get some sleep, I have an extra blanket if you and your friend don't mind sharing.” He offered with a shy grin.

     “Thanks, kid I'll take you up on the blanket. We'd better turn in so we can get an early start.” Standing he took the blanket that Joxer held out and turning to Remy, he said, “Let's get some sleep Gumbo.

     Lying down next to Remy on the opposite side of the fire from Joxer, Logan prepared for a sleepless night and was surprised that the next thing he knew it was dawn and the birds where making a helluva racket and Remy was lying on top of him.

Chapter Two

     Wolverine decided that waking up with a Cajun blanket wasn't a bad way to start the day. He decided he'd better shift him before he woke up. He obviously didn't like the idea of moving he tightened his arms around Logan and mumbled something.  He could tell Gambit really liked where he was when he started rubbing his morning erection against his fellow X-man and started nuzzling his neck. Much as Wolverine was enjoying it His policy `you don't fuck your teammates it gets people killed' and he couldn't forget about Joxer on the other side of the dead fire.

     Firmly rolling the Cajun off he stood up and took a walk to answer the call of nature. Coming back neither Remy nor Joxer had stirred a bit so he got them up, it took awhile, but he finally got `em both woke up. Joxer offered some bread and cheese for breakfast and they started down the path he'd found last night.

     Walking along with their guide wolverine listened in horror as he started to sing:

Joxer the mighty
He's very tidy.
Everyone admires him.
He's so handsome it's a sin.

     And if that wasn't bad enough Remy joined in and the morning passed in agony listening to the two of them. The `song' seemed to have dozens of verses and as soon as they got to the end they repeated it. Trying to ignore them Logan almost missed the sound of a knife being pulled from a sheath, a big one from the sound of it.

     “Quiet.” He barked, just as half a dozen of the smelliest sword-wielding… wait a minute swords? Then there was no time to think. Remy was knocking them down with his Bo staff and Logan was knocking them out with a few punches from an adamantium fist when he noticed Joxer about to get skewered. Wolverine grabbed the mugger around the neck and then punched his claws through his chest and it was over and it hadn't even been a good workout.

     Logan absently retracted his claws and noticed Joxer staring at them, his face as white as a sheet. “Don't worry, bub I never use `em on friends and you fall into that category.” He reassured him.

     He stuttered, “y-you…you're gods.”

     Logan sighed, “Nope, I ain't a god and neither is Remy.”

     “Demi god then.” Joxer responded.
     Logan shook his head and said “Nope.”

     “B-but those knives in your hands and his eyes….” He said pointing at where Remy was tying up the idiots that had attacked us.

     “We aren't gods, Joxer. We're just…different.” Not knowing how else to explain it. Looking at the men lying on the ground that'd attacked them with and swords and wore antique clothing Wolverine was starting to think that maybe Joxer wasn't as crazy as he'd thought.

Chapter Three

     They reached the village Joxer mentioned about an hour after they had been attacked. His worst fears were confirmed, their guide wasn't crazy and civilization was a couple of millenniums away.

     Logan glanced over at Remy and he was as pale as he had ever seen him. The look in his eyes said he was about 30 seconds away from panicking. “Remy, calm down. We've dealt with stranger shit than this.”

     “You may have, bu' Remy ain't.” He bit out through clenched teeth.   “An' he don' like it one bit.”

     “Hey Joxer, is there anyplace we can get a drink around here. My buddy could really use one.” He asked.

     “I was heading to my friend Meg's place. You can get some wine there. I guess that wherever you come from is a lot different, huh?

     “You have no idea how different.” He said a little surprised at Joxer's insight he hadn't struck me as terribly bright kind of a goofy, ancient Greek version of Bobby (The Iceman) without the practical jokes. He'd have to keep an eye on him Wolverine didn't usually read people that wrong and he was showing some unexpected depths.

     Walking in the door of a two-story wood and stone building Logan was expecting Joxer's friend's place to be a tavern or an inn and was caught completely off guard when they walked in and Joxer was almost completely buried under half a dozen or so squealing and giggling half dressed women.

     Logan laughed at the disgruntled expression on the Cajun's face thinking I don't think that Remy had ever been completely ignored by a roomful of women before.

     Gambit turned to glare at Logan. “What so funny?”

     “You shoulda seen the look on your face when they all ignored you. It was priceless, Jean's gonna laugh her self sick when I tell her.” All trace of laughter disappeared as he realized that he didn't know when or if they'd ever see any of the Xmen again.

     “Logan, I'd like you to meet my friend Meg.” Joxer interrupted his depressing thoughts introducing a tall striking woman with electric blue eyes. He looked like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards his hair was standing on end, he had red lip prints all over his face and neck and half way down his chest from where his clothes had been almost torn off of him. He had an ear to ear-to-ear grin on his face.

     “Name's Logan,” he said.

     “An' I'm Remy.” The Cajun interrupted, taking her hand and placing a gentle kiss on the back of it.

     Logan had to suppress the urge to growl at him and tell him to knock it off. It had never bothered him before when Remy had flirted with every warm body in sight. But he didn't like it at all, not one bit. He was Logan's.

     Meg just grinned at Logan as he glared at her

     “Joxer told me you two came through a vortex like the one to the Sovereign's world. From what he's told me about what happened to Hercules I am guessing that the two of you are completely lost here.” She said.

     Grudgingly he answered, “That pretty much describes it.

     “Since you're friends of Joxer's and he always spends a few days when he visits I'll let you have a room and meals free of charge in return for helping to keep the peace while you are here and doing a few odd jobs. Do we have a deal?” Meg asked.

     Logan glanced at the Cajun taking in his barely perceptible nod and replied. “It's a deal.”

Chapters 4-6

Back to Fan Fiction